


Transfers in prison are pretty close to transfers at school

by Yogarasu



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gender Bender, How Do I Tag, I Tried, Prison, Slow Build, Terrorist, Yakuza, angst comes later, gintama would probably be the same with ginko as the main character, happy ending for most, i swear i'm fuuny, jailer to friends, normal ginhiji is good but i love ginko, prisoner
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yogarasu/pseuds/Yogarasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hijikata is so done with work.<br/>Let's just say sweets come in more than just parfaits, but like parfaits this sweet brings massive cavities too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Transfers are normally the worst kind of inmates.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to a friend who can never find her favourite ship.  
> These are just Drabbles that follow a roughly thought out plot.

Hijikata was sitting in the wardens office. He was suppose to be given a new inmate to take care of. But now he was listening to the warden, Matsurida, gush about all the good things his daughter has done. See, Matsurida's daughter had a not so subtle crush on Hijikata, and the warden would do anything to make his daughter happy. But, Hijikata was getting really sick of this so he decided to intervene. "Matsurida sir, I came here to get the information on the transfer prisoner, not hear about your daughter."

"Aw, come on Hijikata-kun just one date and I'll lay off the hints," Matsurida tried convincing.

"No sir I am not looking for a relationship at the moment and your daughter is not my type," replied Hijikata.

"If ya go I'll give ya a raise"

"No I will earn my raise when I work"

"This is an order, Hijikata-kun"

"Sir that is an abuse of power"

"If ya don't I'll fire ya"

"But sir-"

"I hope you have another job planned"

"Fine! But, if I don't like her then no more of this"

"Deal. My daughter will be with you in a month. My daughter's schedule is busy after all. She has…"

Hijikata could take no more of this form of torture. "Sir the transfer."

Matsurida stopped, his eyes wide. Then as if he remembered the garbage can in the corner of his room, "Oh ya the transfer. There is nothing really special about 'em. They were transferred here because the other prisons couldn't handle them. They've been transferred to many high facilities but they couldn't exactly take care of 'em."

"What about the inmate's file," inquiried Hijikata.

"Oh that old thing," Matsurida drawled out (Hijikata swears he is this much closer to quitting his job), "I lost it. You'll get a newer version when they come. You may leave."

Hijikata immediately stood up and walked to the door. When he opened the door knob he heard Matsurida's voice behind him saying "Don't forget about next month" or something thing along the lines of that. He then wondered what the inmate would be like.

_Let's hope they aren't annoying._


	2. Drabble 1: First impressions don't work when you are arrested

Out side in front of the prison were many guards. All of them with an armed weapon in hand. They were lined up in two rows facing inwards and making a path. Hijikata was standing at the beginning of the row ready to take the inmate to their designated cell. When the truck arrived in front of him, Hijikata tensed up a bit. I mean, who wouldn't. A dangerous person is going to be left in your care. One of the guards gave him the keys. And slowly he opened the door.

Hijikata's cigarette dropped to the floor. His mouth hung wide open. He couldn't believe his eyes. Not at all. Knowing that he was fired was less surprising than this. Not even his secret stash of mayonnaise has been found was less surprising. Why were all those surprising things less surprising than what stood before him. More like who stood before him. The inmate having a perm wasn't surprising. The silver (or was is white? Hijikata couldn't quite care at the moment) hair wasn't surprising. The red eyes (they resembled something like a dead fish) weren't surprising either. But this inmate, had a chest. Like an actual chest that you would find on a lady. That meant the person he was suppose to take care of is a girl. A fully fledged woman.

"Oi, Officer-san are ya just gonna stand there or are ya gonna lead me to my cell," the girl drawled out,"To be honest the ride was really bumpy so my back hurts like crazy. Oh and is there food? I'm starving. The last prison had the worst excuse for pudding ever. I'm pretty happy I got out of there…"

Although she kept rambling, Hijikata knew that she was observing everything. First with him then the other officers then the compound it self. After he thought she finished she looked back up at him, "Hey Oogoshi-kun, never seen a girl much less talk to her. Wow never knew that officers were such cherry boys."

Hijikata was taken a back by her vulgar jargon and retaliated with,"Who the fuck you callin' a cherry boy? And what the hell is Oogoshi-kun?"

"Calm down for a second Oogoshi-kun. I was just try in' ta make a good first impression, but ya went ahead and ruined it for poor little-ol'-me," the inmate deadpanned. Because of her slightly monotonous voice, all forms of sentiment was crushed.

"FIRST IMPRESSIONS! Those were gone the second you became an inmate," yelled Hijikata.

And that has his first meeting with Sakata Ginko.


	3. Drabble 2: When you hope for something to come true, it won't. Especially in a gag FanFiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never had he seen a smile so possessed.

Hijikata didn't know why the other prisons had trouble with Sakata (or Gin as she prefers). She follows orders and only talks when spoken too. What Hijikata didn't like though was the nicknames. Ginko was very perceptive. She quickly caught on to his liking (more like obsession if you ask me) of mayonnaise. That gave him the name, Mayora. Then she saw his cigarette addiction. That gave him the special name of Walking-Cancer-Stick-san. And his all time favourite (please note the sarcasm) Oohoshi-kun. What the hell was Oogoshi-kun anyways? What gave her the idea to call him that? Then again in the three days she was here she gave a name to almost everyone. The captain of the first guard squad, Okita Sougo, was now Souichiro-kun or Sofa depends on what she remembers. Kondo Isao, the commander of the guard, was now Gorilla-san. Last but not least the captain of the third guard squad, Saito Shimaru, is Z-san [pronounced: zed].

Today was Ginko's first day out of her cell. Hijikata was to bring her to the cafeteria for lunch that day. He remembered the other inmates getting pretty excited about a girl joining them. Others probably just wanted her body. Hijikata couldn't blame them she was very pretty (not like he would admit it though). Plus her chest was big too, and she had all the curves of a courtesan in the red light district. Other inmates had weirder reasons too be happy. Hijikata over heard one inmate wanting to ask her to model for his newest manga. Whatever that meant.

Hijikata arrived at her cell. Unlike the other two mornings this time she was wide awake staring at the small window in her cell. Normally they would find her sleeping and it would take Sougo's bazooka just to make her flinch. Hijikata had an inkling feeling that she never slept at night. He wasn't on night watch so he can't really say anything about it. But today she had worse eye bags than yesterday.

He dug for the key in his pocket. Once he laid his hand on his keys he took them out to open the door. At the noise Ginko turned around with a blank face. Hijikata called her out and she followed him. As they were walking to the cafeteria Hijikata thought that Ginko was a bit fidgety. He didn't mind but when they reached the door she was full on trembling. He was surprised, Ginko was someone who gave maximum security prisons a run for their money. Why would she be afraid of an hour of lunch with her new inmates. So before the two guards on the sides of the large double doors opened the door he asked, "Are ya nervous about your new inmates?"

"Maybe I am," was her answer.

The two guards ushered her in and closed the door behind her, then resumed their posts again. They both gave curt nods to Hijikata and he walked off to his office. When he arrived in his office he sat down in his comfy spinning chair. Once situated at his desk he released a sigh he didn't think he was keeping in. Hijikata only did this when he was worried. Now before anyone goes, 'Aw he's worried about her', it was his job to worry. He wasn't worried about Ginko herself, he was more worried about what is going going to happen. Hijikata had a bad feeling about this. Especially when he glanced at Ginko's face and saw a very, very possessed smile.

_I just hope that nothing happens._

<{[But between me, the Author, and you, the Reader, we know something is going to happen (￣▽￣)]}>


	4. Drabble 3: When the food in an Airplane doesn't taste good, put your hopes on the dessert. (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not updating sooner then now. I know I said that I would give two chapters but it came out as one big one.  
> I had a writers block on the second part and I felt guilty for not updating so I took what I had and put it together.  
> Thanks for the kudos. I was really surprised I mean it's 8 more than I thought I would get.  
> Any way this is a FanFiction so Gintama isn't mine.  
> Also feel free to ask anything in the comments I'll be happy to reply.

When she entered the room Ginko surveyed the area she was in. The cafeteria was not as fancy as the other high security prisons but it was better than her first. As she predicted all the inmates eyes were on her. But like hell she cared, Ginko was very used to the fact of all eyes on her. Except for the women only prisons. So like she normally dealt with things like this, she put on her best dead expression and started to pick her nose. She went up to the counter and stood there waiting for the old man or lady who served the food to come. Instead of a old coot like all the other prisons a green haired girl (robot? For all Ginko knew she could have done plastic surgery). "Hello there you must be Ginko-san. My name is Tama, I'm the lunch robot that will be providing your meals," spoke the robot.

Ginko was pretty surprised. How high tech was this institution? Was she just one of those cheap imitation robots or was she real. Ginko though had only one thing on her mind. "Hey Tama-san," Ginko started, "Does your name mean soul or balls. I mean both are good. One is very pretty and the other, even if it's a bit inappropriate, is still manly sorry if I offended you. Wait can you even get offended? Wait, I meant to say that you have a manly name for a lunch lady. Wait that didn't come out right…"

"No it's okay Ginko-san. I have encountered this question many times. My name does indeed mean soul."

At this point if Ginko was embarrassed she didn't show it. She put her finger back in her nose and slided the tray to get her dessert. Once she got it she turned around to find the emptiest table not even glancing at her food. She found a table in the far corner of the cafeteria, consisting of two people. And old man reading what looked to be letters and a tall buff guy who seemed to be drawing something. They were so woven in what they were doing they didn't even notice her approach them. "Hey do you think I can sit here gramps?" Ginko said as she faced the old man.

"Why of course young lady, you are very welcome at this table," replied the old man.

This of course caught the attention of the bulky man sitting beside the old man. He nodded his head in recognition and went back to his drawing. "Sorry about him," started the old man, "he has a deadline for the magazine he works for. He should be able to talk to you when he's done."

Ginko wondered if she ever read the man's manga before. She can say and prove that she has every week's volume of shounen jump since she was five (except for the few she lost, spilled something on, or has accidentally ripped). She takes a peak at what he's drawing and saw a beautiful shoujo manga couple surrounded by flowers and the petals of said flowers floating around them. To this she did a double take. What was a buff dude in prison doing drawing shoujo manga for little delusional teenage girls? As a child when her adoptive father tried to make her read anything remotely girly, Ginko would 'accidentally' rip or spill something on it. Taking the hint her father stopped getting her things like that.Except for sweets. They were Ginko's sole life line to her femininity. That and her gorgeous body. But who cared about that nowadays.

That train of thought brought her back to her food. She finally looked down only to be disgusted by what she saw. It was some sort of shrimp? (Or was it pork?) in any case Ginko couldn't tell. It looked like something barfed out a bunch of ingredients and didn't even try to use any kitchen utensils. Suddenly Ginko was sacred. She quickly looked at the pudding to find it was packaged and not a barfing mess.

So like she always did Ginko put aside her food and ate her pudding. When she took a bite she felt like she was in heaven. The sweet taste along with the caramel on the bottom was absolutely delicious. She was thankful for this prison. Her last one had the worst pudding ever. It was so bad she was happy when they said she would be transferred. She hugged the warden so much she thinks she broke a few of his bones.

Ginko, lost in thought, didn't hear the loud thumping footsteps of three inmates that were approaching her. That is until her pudding was headed straight to the ground after a hand came and slapped it out of her hand. She turned slowly to face them and wasn't surprised when they were all butt ugly (she decided to go with the name the three stooges). "Hey girly why don't cha' come sit with us at our table," said the first (average height and slightly round).

Ginko looked where they were pointing at and saw a full table of buff guys eating. "But there's no room," was her only reply.

"Then ya could just sit on my lap," said stooge number 2 (a short, chubby guy).

Ginko glared at them with no emotion. She would get her revenge. "Hey boys how's about we solve our little dispute with a fight, huh?" Ginko advised.

She really hoped they were stupid enough to get the bait. She could feel the mangaka and the old man cowering behind her. They probably thought she was crazy or something of the sort. And to be frankly honest with you, she probably was. "Okay then girly if we win we get ta' have some fun with you," said stooge 3 (tall and skinny).

"Then if I win," she eyed the half eaten pudding on the ground, "I would like some pudding.


	5. Drabble 4: When the food in an Airplane doesn't taste good, put your hopes on the dessert. (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally finished.  
> Although I am disappointed in myself that it didn't come out as long as I would've wanted.  
> Sorry for the late update.  
> Hope you enjoy

Hijikata heard a loud slamming-of-the-door kind of sound on his office's door. He looked up from his paperwork to see a very flushed very exhausted looking Yamazaki Sagaru (Appan-man or Jimmy, as Ginko liked to call him) burst through the door. This got Hijikata a bit annoyed, "Oi Yamazaki, you're supposed to wait before I call you in!" Hijikata yelled at his subordinate. Well technically Okita's subordinate but whatever.

"No time to explain Hijikata Fuku-taicho but it seems there is an emergency at the cafeteria and your assistance is needed! It seems like Ginko's involved," yelled Yamazaki.

To this Hijikata practically leaped out of his seat and ran with Yamazaki to the lunchroom. He can already see his raise being flushed down the toilet along with his extra mayonnaise. As he sprinted down the hallway, probably knocking down a few people in the process, he thought about all that led up to this moment ruining his peace and quiet .

Hijikata's was sitting in his quiet office studying the biggest puzzle of all time, Sakata Ginko. He was studying her folder carefully just like any other inmate he had. And noticed he personal information was a bit off.

 **Name** : Sakata Ginko  
**D.O.B.** : October 10  
**Age** : 25  
**Height** : 170 cm  
**Weight** : 57kg (114 lbs)  
**Previous Criminal Record** : N/A  
**Reason(s) for Imprisonment** : Caught cheating at a Pachinko Parlour, destruction of property, vandalism, and several accounts of tax fraud.  
**Time of Sentence** : 2 years  
**Time Remaining (since last update)** : 1 year 1 month 15 days

Hijikata found himself being sceptical about this. Normally for her crimes all you would need are to pay fines or community service. Also he was pretty sure Sakata had been in some sort of trouble before. If not then how did she handle the other prisons so easily. Hijikata was really confused now, if he hadn't been before.

Hijikata thought that maybe he was looking too much in too this. To give it a rest. She was just an inmate. _One with big breasts, nice figure, the face of a model, and is a part of the opposite sex_. No. He should be thinking about how many visitors will be coming to see her in a few weeks. He had to sort out their times table and make Yamazaki buy the mayo bread from the officer's cafeteria. He had to see which visitors Sakata wants too see and ones she doesn't.

 _Wow he needed a smoke_. He rummaged through his pockets to find his cancer sticks, as Sakata likes to call them, and then looked through his drawers to find his lighter. He put the smoke in his mouth and lit it up. Right when he took an inhale the door slammed open and a exhausted looking Yamazaki came running through the door.

Now that Hijikata broke his train of memories he found himself and Yamazaki outside the door to the cafeteria. With a deep inhale and exhale he opened the door to find something absolutely shocking. There sat the Sakata Ginko on top of a chair, on top of the bruised and beaten bodies of a few inmates calmly eating some pudding being offered to her by some inmates. She was getting a shoulder massage from on man. Another inmate was being used as a foot rest. And another two were massaging her feet. All while she ate pudding with the most sadistic face, were horns growing out of her head or was it just him, anyone could muster. Hell, he could see Sougo bowing down to her.

 _You know what_ , he thought, _He wasn't overthinking anything_.


	6. Drabble 5: Interrogations are like job interviews from hell, but worse.

Ginko found herself in a place that was not her cell. All she remembered was that she was enjoying the kind gestures (read: manual labour) that her new fellow inmates (read: slaves) were giving to her (read: taken almost forcefully). Then the memories came rushing towards her. She was shot by a sleeping dart. Her hands found their way to the back of her neck. And as sure as hell she found the small nick that the dart gave her. She put her chained hands down and looked down at her chained feet and thought, _Fuck_. Oh boy, she was going to get herself in trouble. _Let's hope this place's solitary confinement area is not under water like the last one_ , she thought.

Her accurate hearing, it's scary really, caught the footsteps of three guards coming her way. I mean who else walks around with heavyweight boots in a prison. Certainly not the inmates. The door was opened by Jimmi , or was it Apan-man (She was horrible at remembering names), and in came Souichiro-kun followed by her ever trusted mayo freak. She didn't do anything except stare with a blank face as Oogoushi-kun took a seat in the chair in front of her and opened a file. The silence was slowly killing her sanity as they faced off in a stare down. With tension so thick it could rival her favourite jello pudding. "So Sakata," started Oohoushi-kun, "what happened back at the cafeteria?"

"Well, a pure and gentle maiden such as I was ferociously attacked by three hideous beasts and all I did was defend my self from being hurt." replied Ginko.

She could almost feel how the anger rays radiated off of him. "Gentle maiden? The three inmates had numerous accounts of broken ribs, two had broken limbs, and all had internal bruising. And you have the gal to can call yourself gentle, much less a maiden! Do you know how much trouble I'm going to be in with what you've done? Can't you think about something or someone other than yourself for once!" Hijikata basically yelled, his quiet demeanour disappearing.

That last comment did strike a cord with her. A very painful one. "Hey Oogoushi-kun, I'm a criminal we're supposed to be selfish. Thinking about ourselves is what we do best," ginko said slowly. Her bangs hanging down on her darkened eyes. She continued, "Also what makes you think I care about whether you get in trouble or not. It'd probably be better for me and you if I left, huh?"

She could see the surprise written on his face. One that quickly morphed into pure rage. She wasn't even trying to get him mad. _Wow that was fast_ , she thought, _New Record_. He started yelling and spouting about the noble responsibilities of a police officer. How he should be respected by 'you no-good low-lives' ( _ouch that one hurt_ ). How he should get a raise for being made to put up with her ( _well he would probably get it if he didn't waste it on mayonnaise_ ). How he needed more money for mayonnaise ( _wow, she was right_ ). How he would have to stick with her for longer because of her two month extension, and all the paper work needed for that. How he wasn't even respected be his fellow-

Hold up, Ginko did a double take. Extension? She rose her head distressed, "Oogoushi-kun could you repeat the last part."

"That his fellow officers don't respect him?" Apan-man asked quizzically.

  
"No, before that," replied Ginko.

"The part where I laced his mayonnaise with laxatives?" asked Souichiro-kun.

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" yelled Hijikata.

"No, after that."

"How I could give him all my paperwork?"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT EITHER!"

"Um… Did you mean the two month extension?" Apan-man said quietly under all the yelling.

"And we have a winner. Thank you Apan-man, remind me to buy you some apan when I get out of this hell hole," she paused, then yelled, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M STUCK HERE FOR TWO MORE MONTHS!"

"Exactly what it means Sakata," replied Hijikata, still trying to calm his ear drums after that loud yell.

"Can't you guys just give me some solitary confinement or something?" Ginko pleaded.

"Well you really didn't do anything to deserve confinement. Plus it's just two months what's the big deal, you were going to be here for a year anyways," said Apan-man as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Oh, and as Hijibaka forgot to tell you you'll be having visitors next week," drawled Souichiro-kun.

"I'm having visitors?"

"Ya, didn't you hear," questioned an annoyed Hijikata.

"Oh,"

Ginko didn't want to see the surprise on their faces when she purposefully hit her head hard on the metal table. Just enough to see the stars come out on the concrete wall.

She felt her chair tip back and the silver haired woman was knocked out cold.

 _God damn_ , she thought, _I really don't want to see their faces right now_. 


	7. Drabble 6: Laughter is contagious unless it's annoying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit long I didn't know how to split this and make it shorter.  
> Also 45 kudos!!! What?! That's like 45 more than what I was expecting.  
> Thank you guys so much for your support. I love you all.  
> Enjoy the chapter

_"Ginko, Ginko, Ginko. Wake up," Ginko awoke to the sound of a voice close to her ear. She opened her eyes to find a mop of hair so dark it shined purple._

_"Oh so the shorty had guts to wake me up," she replied._

_"I'm not that short!" said the nine year old boy._

_"Keep telling yourself that."_

_"Come on, Shoyou-sensei made us pancakes and Zura is already at the table."_

_From a distance they could hear a muffled 'Zura janai! Katsura da!'. They both laughed loudly and she shuffled to sit up straight._

_"Ya, ya I'm coming," she huffed and got out of her futon._

_The dark haired boy held his hand up for her to grab on too. She reached for his outstretched hand and grabs on to it. But the second he pulls her up he disappeared only to have the room disappear with him. Soon she was surrounded by a dank, spacious alley way. The same boy from before stood there. Only now he was older. Probably a high school student. He wasn't the only one that changed, Ginko looked older too. The boy stood there with his back towards her._

_When she tried to move her feet to get closer, she couldn't. Her legs felt like they were stuck in cement (trust her she knows the feeling). Her arms were no different. Her throat felt closed off, she couldn't speak properly. A small 'Taka-' came out. It's wasn't loud so she wondered why the boy turned._

_Her eyes widened at the sight of his face. His left side of his face was hidden underneath all that blood. His bangs covering his left eye. She was afraid to know what was under. "Why Ginko," he started, "Why did you do this to me? Why did you kill him?"_

_"I-" she tried._

_"Why?"_

_"I'm-"she tried again._

_Why did you kill him?_

_"I'm so-"_

_Why did you hurt me?_

_Why did you hurt us?_

_Why did you-_

_Why did-_

_Why-_

_Why?_

 

_**You Monster**_.

"I'm sorry!" Ginko exclaimed and stood straight. She looked around and saw that she was in an unfamiliar room. She looked around to see drapes surrounding her bed. Ginko looked down at her palms and saw them covered in blood. She blinked hard and they were back to their original pale tone. "Ya, you should be," drawled an annoyed voice, "with all the trouble you made."

She didn't even need to look to see it was the Mayo freak. She reached for the curtain beside her bed and pulled it to see him. "Aw was little, wittle Hijikata-kun worried about me. Sorry I don't date Mayo freaks," Ginko said to calm her thoughts a bit. A little comedic relief never hurt anyone. _**Why did you hurt us?**_ She shook her head lightly to drain those thoughts away.

"WHY WOULD I-" he cleared his voice a bit, "Why would I want to date a permed criminal like you?"

"'Cause of my boobs?"

"Of course not!"

"Because I'm pretty?"

"What no way! I've seen mutts tamer than you."

There was a small pause in which Ginko stared at him with disbelief, "Hijikata-kun don't tell me you're a furry?"

"What? Of course not! What gave you that idea?"

"Well-" "Actually don't answer that."

The tension between the two could be cut with a knife. She actually tried to imitate cutting motions with her fingers. All that got her was a weird look from Hijikata. Ginko tried her best to look anywhere but him. So instead she was brought back to her dream, _More like nightmare_. She sighed through her nose, The same damn dream every time. As it turns out Hijikata was right at some point about her not sleeping. She gets it almost every other night. It wasn't like this before though. At first it was one very two months, it decreased to one ,then it happened almost every other week. It got worse when she went to jail. She took a quick peek at Hijikata to see that he was scribbling something down. "What'cha doodling there Oogoushi-kun? Is it a letter to your crush? Aw, are you resorting to cherry boy ways of getting her attention?" Ginko taunted

"No,it's nothing much… Except for the fact it decides where you're going to have lunch for this week," he replied smugly. Oh how she hated that face.

* * *

 

Ginko walked slowly in the cafeteria tray of food (?) in hand. Having woken up from a headache from not sleeping she is not in the best of moods. After three days they let her out of her bed and had been given a bit of freedom like the rest. Now most of you would be wondering: Wait why isn't anyone attacking her? She beat them up, don't they want revenge? Well they were attacking her, but not in the way that you'd normally think;

"Anego-sama please have my pudding!"

"No, she's going to eat mine, dumbass!"

"What she ate yours last time!"

"AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Why don't you all give it to her!"

"He has a point."

"Thank you danna!"

_Annoying_ , she thought, _Especially that laugh. Wait laugh?_ She turned so quickly she could have gotten whiplash. Only to find curly mop of brown hair flying towards her. She made a mental checklist in her head: Curly brown hair; CHECK, Weird laugh; CHECK, One of the only insane enough people to try and tackle her in a hug; CHECK. Remember, this happened in the five seconds Ginko should have used to prepare for impact. "Kinko-chaaaaan~" the attacker yelled. Causing her to drop her tray in the ground.

"Eh? Sakamoto?!"

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Surprise Kinko-chan! What are you doing here?! AHAHAHA!"

Ginko could already feel the massive headache coming back ten times worse.


	8. Drabble 7: Foster children are like your real children when you give them a female gorilla for a nanny.

Ginko stared at the glass window separating her and the room in front of her. The small dotted breathing hole close to her face made her feel even more trapped than before. _Gosh, now I know how lab rats and test subjects feel like_. Out of the corners of her eyes she could see Hijikata leaning against the wall to her right and Souichirou (or was it Sofa?) to her right playing some game on his phone. She sighed through her nose, how was she supposed to talk to them with two watchdogs basically breathing down her neck. _Oh well, just pretend they aren't there_ , she thought. Ginko looked at the analog ( _What were they too cheap for a digital one?_ ) clock on the other end of the window. She read that it was 12:50 and sighed for the hundredth time since she came here. _Ten more minutes until the first people come_ , she thought.

Ginko had a very good guess to who the first batch of people were going to be. She she could already feel herself sweating bullets at the thought. Instead of thinking about her untimely death she took this time to think about what Sakamoto told her at breakfast.

_"So why is a loudmouthed idiot like you doing here?" She asked when the rest of their table mates left._

_"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't sweat the small stuff Kinko-chan! AHAHAHA!"_

_"Shut up you dumbass! And my name is Ginko G-I-N, silver, not gold! Just tell me already, if I don't find out from you I'll find out some other way. So spit it," she demanded. She wasn't going to let this idiot off the hook just yet._

_"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess that would be bad, huh?" Then he looked at her with sudden seriousness he only had a long time ago, "We got a mysterious request for a lot of cargo. They were gonna pay more than the normal amount so we decided to go along with it. Turns out that it was some deflected group of the Harusame gang. You know the guys with the alien costumes. Turns out they weren't gonna pay and decided to try and kill us instead. We fought back and the Shinsengumi caught us. In exchange for a year I asked if they could let my men go. I've served about three months of it and I came here two weeks ago."_

_"Wait two weeks ago! How come I didn't see you? I've stuck here that long too!"_

_"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well they brought me in by boat and then an extended car trip. AHAHAHAHAHAHA You know I get a little motion sick-" "A little?" "-So I've been stuck in the infirmary since then," he laughed. All signs of the serious man gone as if he wasn't there._

_"So how's the wife? Sorry I wasn't there for the wedding I was stuck in a cell in Hokkaido," Ginko asked. Thoroughly surprised that he found a woman capable of withstanding his annoying laughter. "Hope you didn't leave her alone to take care of anything stupid?"_

_"Actually she's the one who organized the shipment. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

_To this Ginko did a double take. "What?!"_

_"Ya, she's awesome. She's taking over the business while I'm gone. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"How did you even meet?" Ginko asked. Again she's thoroughly confused. How did he land such a dependable person?_

_"Well I got caught up in some human trafficking and I met her there." He said. His face lowered and Ginko felt bad for asking._ Such a sad story _, she thought._

_"So was she being trafficked with you?" her mood dampened at the thought. Suddenly his head turned to face her with the biggest grin she's seen all day._

_"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! No silly! She was the one trafficking me! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"_

Remembering it now made her feel stupid for feeling sad. Typical Sakamoto, always defying the logic of the world. What really bothered her was what he said next, _'Those defects from the Harusame said they showed allegiance to the Kiheitai so we should keep a look out. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!'._ She looked back at the clock and it showed she had one minute 'till doomsday. She sighed and relaxed lazily on the chair. If she was going to go out it would be doing what she does best. Doing absolutely nothing.

This sudden movement caused the two officers to look up from whatever they were doing and straighten themselves. Hijikata took a sidelong glance at Ginko to see that she was sweating bullets on her face. Then he thought, _Crap what kind of people does this person even talk to_. Suddenly he felt a wave of nervousness flood his senses.

The door burst open with a loud bang as it fell off one of its hinges. There stood a young girl with vermilion hair tied into buns. Her foot being lowered from a kicking position and there were two other people there. A plain boy with glasses and a young woman who looked to be about Sougo's age. "GIN-CHAN!!" Yelled the girl with vermilion hair. Suddenly she looked very familiar.

She ran up to the glass and slammed her palms against it causing the glass to crack where she hit it. The two behind her came at a more respectful pace. The oldest two sitting down on the empty chairs. They cleared their throats and all hell broke loose.

Hijikata and Sougo both had to wonder why their neighbours were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. The next chapter should be up soon but I'll be at camp for three days so if there's time and wifi then I'll post. If not I'm sorry for the delay and thank you for being such patient readers.


	9. Drabble 8: Sadists are the best kind of friENEMY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm back!  
> *dodges chair* I'll be able to start writing more now because school is almost out. Finals are a bitch to deal with but at least they're not provincials. My last ones are all on Monday and I should be done for the rest of the school year and start focusing on writing again. Yay!

   Okita Sougo thought himself to be a nice person. Slightly sadistic, yes, but nice person nonetheless. That's why when he saw his neighbour/newly founded rival talking with his newly founded 'Danna' he decided to greet her with a punch to the face. Through the glass of course, greetings need to be dramatic. Little pieces of crystal flying around giving the greeting the whole sparkly shoujo manga theme. Who was he to deny that she gave back the greeting full heartedly? When she caught the punch and swung him across the room.

   Landing on his backside beside the door just goes to show that she was even going the extra mile to show him out the door. See how kind they were to each other. Just the other day she was willing to be pushed into a puddle so that his shoes wouldn't get wet. Just the thought of her wet and angry face made his heart skip a beat. Nobody before her had brought him this much excitement. The fact that she repaid him for that feat by ordering her steroid induced dog to give him a piggyback ride, with its mouth, on his ass. Hijibaka-san said that he needed to go to the hospital to check for rabies. But Okita Sougo won't buy it. The stitches soon to come off is behind are not dog bites. No, to Okita they were love bites given to him by his favourite frenemy. They were a declaration of war.

   But alas, this was not meant to be. Hijibaka yelled at them to get out and forced what Okita thought was a glasses stand with them, how it got in the visiting rooms he will never understand. His conversation with his absolute second best friend (whips and chains will always be his number one) went a little something like this:

   "The China-bitch has followed in Kondo-san's footsteps and decided to become a stalker? Why am I not surprised?"

   "Shut up you ugly chihuahua! Who said I came for you, you self-centred prick!"

   "You wound me Ms. Piggy, I'm merely wondering what a sad excuse for a human is doing at my workplace. I mean if you're into the whole BDSM thing then I won't blame you but I'm into girls that have a bigger rack."

   "Shut the fuck up! Like hell I want to become your masochistic slave. If anything then I'm the one dominating. Also like I said I'm not here for you, I'm here for Gin-chan."

   "Ah you mean Danna, well how did a solid ten like her come to know such an ugly brat?”

   “Gin-chan has enough creepy people following her around as it is, we don't need to add a sadist wannabe loser. Also I lived with her for a few years!”

   “Stalking doesn’t count China-”

   “No shit Dumbass, she’s my surrogate mom.”

   At this Okita froze for a second. No where on Danna’s file did he find that she was a mom of any kind. He tried to remember her marital status and any legal offspring but drew up a blank. He'd have to tell Kondo-san and Hijibaka later.

   “Wait actually? You mean with all the official documents and everything?”

   “Yeah, you didn't know? We have all the papers and everything?” Kagura sneered, “So are you telling me us tax paying citizens waste are money so that lazy police officers like you could make mistakes?”

   “Funny I don't remember taking any money from homeless looking people…”

   “What did you say you bastard?!”

   As they continued Okita thought that he lucked out in life. High paying job, only little bit of schooling left without much debt, and the absolute best chances to piss off his favourite human being alive. “You heard me China-bitch.”

   “ARGH!”

   Really she makes it too easy.


	10. Drabble 9: Gorilla Woman vs. Ginko, Fight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an author's note at the end that's kinda important?

  “The next time Souichirou-kun is my watchdog remind me to dump some of your mayonnaise down his pants,” Ginko muttered, just loudly enough for Hijikata to hear, dusting her hair in case some of the stray shards of glass ended up there due to her close proximity to the incident.

 

  Hijikata sighed, “No way you’re touching my prized mayonnaise you criminal sugar-freak.” The small breathe like chuckle that came from Ginko surprised him.

 

  “We'll see about that,” she said with a small smirk on her face. Hijikata turned his face away when he felt it heat up slightly (from anger of course). He was hoping and praying to any deity out there to keep his mayonnaise safe. That, and he didn’t like the way the brown haired woman was staring at them. It seemed like Ginko noticed too, “So what brings a gorilla woman like you to my humble– OW OW OW!!”

 

  Hijikata looked on with wide eyes as the brown haired woman, who really couldn’t be older than Sougo, shot her arm through the broken glass, grabbed Ginko by her unruly hair and pulled. Ginko’s chained feet and hands didn’t allow any room for resistance so the silver haired inmate literally sat there idly while being tortured.

 

  As an officer of the law Hijikata should have jumped to save the inmate and break the fight up, but he hesitated. He took one look at Ginko and realized that through the exaggerated wailing, loud cries in protest, and multiple curse words thrown at the younger brunette, that she wasn’t hurt at all. Her eyes were as plain and dull as they normally were. The lack of pain and emotion in those ruby irises were as clear to him as the mayonnaise sales at the supermarket. She was faking it. “Oi cop! A little help! I don’t want to become a premature baldy over here!’

 

 “Calm down Gin-chan,” said the brown haired woman, “you already have white hair. What’s a few strands off your pachinko filled head.”

 

 “That’s not the same! Plus my hair is silver! Silver goddamnit! Unhand me woman!”

 

 “If you say so~”

 

  If Hijikata’s eyes could grow any bigger they would have. The woman let go of Sakata’s hair so suddenly. Sakata’s chains pulled her back into her seat. Ginko’s head snapped back and he could’ve sworn that he heard a loud crack but Ginko was back to normal before he could respond. “So gori- I mean _Tae-chan_ , what brings you here?”

 

  Ah… Otae Shimura

 

 _Ah…_ Hijikata remembered now. _She’s the girl Kondo-san goes to stalk when we’re off work. Shimura Otae right…?_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 _CRAP!! She’s the girl who Kondo-san stalks after work!_  Hijikata could visibly feel himself paling. He’s seen the injuries this woman gives his surrogate brother. All those cuts and bruises made even himself, a well seasoned officer of the law, cringe in fear. He honestly thought that the woman that Kondo-san was stalking had to be a monster. He wasn’t exactly wrong. Although he imagined more of a walking mass of muscles than a petite brunette.

 

 Call him a bad person, but so what if he didn’t remember his neighbours’ names. He new the important parts; there was Glasses, China Girl, Big Sister (who he hadn’t paid much attention to, until now that is), and the old lady who owns his favourite bar. They moved in less than two years ago to the large traditional house right beside his, Kondo, and Sougo’s modest house…. _Wait two years ago?_ _That was around the time that Sakata was put in jail._ He’d have to look into their relationship… _Great more work to do. I can’t wait to go home today and-_ “What do you mean he’s coming with the kids?!”

 

  Hijikata’s train of thought derailed as Ginko yelled. He looked down and, for the first time since she came to the compound, her red eyes flared with emotion. Shock, worry, anxiety, desperation, Hijikata couldn’t tell. Maybe a mix of all.

 

  “Like I said Gin-chan,’’ Otae repeated, “Tsukou-san is visiting with the kids soon. I… I met Sacchan yesterday and she told me when I was grocery shopping for Otose-san. She said it was because you're much closer now than last time. She and Tsukou-san apologize for not visiting earlier.’’

 

  “... Tell them that they’re not welcome-’’

 

  “You don’t mean that Gin-chan!’’

 

  “I meant every single word I said,’’ Ginko looked at her with a smoldering look that oozed defiance. Hijikata could swear that the temperature in the room went down a few notches despite her heated eyes.

 

  “Gin-chan-”

 

  “Otae-chan, Shinpachi and Kagura are waiting for you outside,” the smile that Ginko formed on her face was anything but pleasant, “You shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

 

  “I know you well Gin-chan. Doesn’t matter whether they bring the kids or not, you’ll see them anyways. You’re just that type of person,” Hijikata then found himself being looked at, “Hijikata-san was it? Care to escort me outside?”

 

  Hijikata was dense, but not that dense. He could tell that this wasn’t a request. It was a demand. “I can’t exactly do that uh… Shimura-san. There is, well there’s supposed to be, a glass window between us. I’m sorry but you’ll have to show yourself out.”

 

  “Oh well, I guess all police officers lack tact then.” Otae stood from her chair and dusted off imaginary particles of dust. She made her way to the door but paused to look back, “Gin-chan… it’s okay to show that you feel sad… and you have every right to be mad at them. He-They did hurt you after all.”

 

  And with that Otae left the room. To say that the silence was awkward would be the understatement of the century. Hijikata was so sure that if he shot a bullet through the air, the sound of the gunshot would be drowned out by the silence. There was no chance of breaking it without sounding like an idiot.

 

  Of course she was the first to break it, “So who’s my next visitor?” Ginko questioned as if she were asking about the weather.

 

 “Oh uh let me check…” Hijikata looked down at his pocket notebook and did a double take, “so tomorrow your visitors are Donald Zurump and Adolf Hilizabeth?”

 

  “Pfft- AHAHAHAHA! SO THAT’S WHAT HE’S GOING WITH THIS TIME!” Ginko laughed out. Then her face softened, the unease from before was almost all gone, “that idiot is actually going to get himself caught this time.”

 

  “Wait, Sakata. How do you know the president of the United States?” Hijikata questioned a confused look on his face.

 

  “So you mean you can’t tell that it’s actually Katsu– you know what if you’re dumb enough to fall for his diguises I’m not saying anything,” Ginko deadpanned.

 

“Wait Sakata! ANSWER ME!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back? Yeah I know that it's been forever and I'm trying to write more. I'm basically doing first year Uni in senior year so school is taking most of my time. I mean it's not a viable excuse so I'm not going to make any promises I can't keep anymore and updates will be few and far in between. I will finish this story though because it has a special place with me and the friend I'm writing for. Thank you for all your support and for staying with this story. You honestly don't know how much this means to me.
> 
> Also those who are up to date with the Gintama manga will get the Katsura joke.


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